The Integrated Male: Balancing the Light/Celebrating the Dark

More than any other time in modern history, men today are being challenged to uncover and upgrade different facets of the masculine.

Movements like #MeToo and TimesUp along with current political climates are propelling men to question and update beliefs and misunderstandings around modern masculinity.

The INTEGRATED MALE BALANCES THE LIGHT AND CELEBRATES THE DARK.

When the Dark and Light are not in balance, men engage passively with life fearing rejection, abandonment and real intimacy. And, often times, their own power which can lead to patterns of self-sabotage, incomplete goals, and not getting what he desires in relationships.

The UNBALANCED MALE reacts rather than acts, controls rather than responds, manipulates rather than creates or leads.

 


 

The Dark Side of the masculine is an essential and much needed aspect of the Masculine. And yet many men report being exposed or taught conflicting and often times violent perspectives of the Dark – the Shadow.

In an effort to feel good, to feel powerful, to “man-up,” some have bought into the false ideas of the alpha, predatory male leaving many men feeling conflicted, disempowered, and frozen in their relationship with the feminine and with other men.

And, let’s be clear here…

Femininity is not the opposite of masculinity. They are complements. The opposite of masculinity is passivity.

The INTEGRATED MALE is balanced in his masculine and feminine energy and uses both to lead, protect, create, love, and empower himself.  Creating freedom in who he is in the wold.


This workshop will explore the Dark Side of the Masculine: what it means, how it is an essential part of the Masculine, and how its shadow shows up in today’s world; and how to use the Light side to balance himself in love, power, and life:
  • Participants will also be guided on how to access the Dark and the Light as needed.
  • Each participant will walk away with practical ways to apply these learnings in life, work, and relationships.

 


What is the Dark side of the Masculine?

There is a wild side to man’s nature. Unpredictable. Even savage.

For the most part, men are taught from an early age to repress this part. They are given messages that it is something undesired and, perhaps, even uncivilized. In an effort to fit in, feel loved, many men repress it while some use this energy in more “appropriate” choices – competition in sports or business.

The truth is that the Dark side of Masculinity is never really gone.

And, if not channeled correctly, it follows men like a shadow — projecting and distorting the masculine. Leaving men in an abyss of pushing, forcing as well as freezing and avoiding.

The Darkness is not evil, but because it is often squelched, it is often denied its proper role resulting in rebelliousness, displeasure, rage, and depression. It becomes the monster so many work diligently to hide.

Without the Dark Side, chivalry becomes salt that has lost its flavor. Because without it, direction and discipline are meaningless; connection to self, other, community inauthentic; strength is ineffective, and logic pointless.

 

When the Dark is not given its place, the Masculine becomes sad, rage-filled, uncontrollable, abusive, perverted, and lost. Given today’s headlines… sound familiar?

The Light is the space of wisdom, stillness, and leading with benevolence.

Yet, when it is integrated into the Masculine, the Light and the Dark nourishes the soul like nothing else can.

It is about owning what is true in the body-heart-mind-spirit so that man can show up in more integrity.

It is about exploring and knowing the depth of desires and genuine action. Because when he shows up in full integrity with all his parts – Light and Dark- the Feminine can show up in all her flavors.

The Integrated Male is the Wild Man at its core – the place that existed before he was told how to be, who to be.

 


Our time together will be part process, part experiential, and you will walk away with specific skills and techniques that can assist you in daily life.

Skills and techniques presented in this workshop are grounded in Spiritual Psychology, Polarity work (masculine-feminine), Mind-Body, Neuroscience, Nonlinear Movement, and Shamanism.

 


===> Why attend this event? <===

Today’s headlines are filled with examples of the Shadow side of the Masculine.

Because men are powerful beings and most men truly want to engage with themselves and others in powerful, authentic, and positive ways.

It is my intention that those that participate in this event will walk away with concrete and practical reminders of this.

And most importantly, you will walk away, with skills that will assist you in being more effective and more empowered in your relationships and with the Light and the Dark.

And I totally get it… most men find these kinds of workshops intimidating or way out of their comfort zone especially being in the presence of other men. One of my reasons for doing this is to remind you that you are not alone and that many men are having a shared and lonely experience. Hearing and being with others is powerful medicine.

===> Why have a woman lead it? <===

===> What can a woman teach me about being a man? <===

The feminine qualities of empathy, intuition, openness, and nurturance are the magnets that help bring out the balanced masculine.

And…the flow of the feminine needs to be present to help nurture and reinforce the direction of the masculine.

This event is not about teaching you how to be a man, but to unearth and anchor the masculine energy already in you in a way that serves your highest purpose.

The Gifts of Pulling Away

“He doesn’t really listen”
“She plays on the phone rather than spend time with me”
“It’s like I don’t even exist”
“I feel invisible”
“The dog gets more love than I do”

When a man or a woman checks out emotionally, mentally, or physically from their relationship, it can be for many the beginning of death of love. 

Many men overwhelmed by demands of intimacy, vulnerability, and unresolved emotions from the past, give into feeling lost and check-out.

Inadvertently surrendering not to love, but to the unconscious fear that if he were to step into a fuller expression of himself, he would push others away, not be man enough, or be seen as a fraud.

Women in an effort to not rock the boat, not to make another feel bad, keep quiet and often agree to parameters of the relationships through default until one day this becomes impossible for her to continue.

Overwhelmed by demands of intimacy, vulnerability, and unresolved emotions from the past, she gives into feeling lost and checks-out.  Inadvertently surrendering not to love, but to the unconscious fear that if she were to step into a fuller expression of herself, she would no longer belong and be seen as a fraud.

We can respond to the pulling away of the other by adding final blows or to see the pulling away as part of the cycle that can return us to greater love.  Perhaps not always to greater love with our current partners, but greater love nonetheless.

Man stepping into a strong and powerful masculine energy by learning how to authentically express their authentic masculine presence without disempowering and disconnecting from the feminine.  Without minimizing, blaming, or telling her she’s feeling or being too much.

One way to to start this, is my empowering and embodying those parts that he finds hard to love… the parts that have been castrated and often appear in moments when disempowering another or perhaps even abusing another.

The parts that remind you of how powerful you are because you can annihilate another with your hands, but it takes more courage not to.

Inner spaces that feel soft and vulnerable because those are the parts the connect you more deeply to the heart of humanity.

Woman remembering how powerful and raw the authentic feminine presence is without punishing or building walls.  Dropping the need to blame or remind him of his failures.

Start by reminding yourself that you are not here to simply put up with things or to play nice.  Your gift of intuition bestows your wisdom and truth telling. Your willingness, your courage of heart to offer ALL of you, even the uncomfortable, imperfect, chaotic parts is an invitation not only for you, but for your partner, your family, your tribe, the whole world to get out of our heads and into our hearts.

The truth is that NOW more than ever, both men and women have the opportunity for growth, healing, and learning on how to step more fully into their true self.

Both using their feeling lost, their checking-out as signposts that their higher self is requesting a look inward, to create space to heal before anyone can return more fully to love.

And to all parties involved…

Be loving
Be compassionate
Be kind to yourself.
Be honest.
Don’t take it personally

This December I am offering Men & Women (sex specific) events to help you step into a deeper, more graceful, love-filled expression of you. In January, I will be adding co-ed Love, Intimacy & Attraction events.

In loving,

Jacqueline