Seeing through Eyes of Love

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways…

Everything that happens in life is an opportunity to LOVE.

And above all, an opportunity to love YOU—to truly 100% love yourself completely, no matter what.

Every failure.

Every heartbreak.

Every panic attack.

Every clumsy moment.

Every win.

Every celebration.

Every moment… an invitation to love yourself.  To dive into the pool of self-love.

Many believe that to love oneself is selfish.  That it is undesirable and perhaps even narcissistic.  Some even cite cultural rules and religious dogma that self-love is…well… simply wrong.

To practice loving ourselves, is remembering your true nature, that you cannot love others without loving yourself first.

 

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. – Buddha 

 

When you honor your love for yourself, you open and give to self and others from an ever-filled abundant well of love.

To love yourself means to give love, attention, and care to the self, so that you can be filled to overflow and then be able to share, love, and nurture your relationships, careers, work, housework, parenting, and your lovers from that space.

Self-love is a practice of filling the yearning from your soul because it is about practicing listening to what we desire, acceptance of it, and acting towards it.

Self-love is important because it is process of remembering where your genuine power resides.

To love you means being willing to say no to what does not serve and yes to what brings more aliveness and hope.  Errors and mistakes transform into openings where the light shines in.  

To be in self-love makes life simpler and more carefree. 

Because when you love yourself more, mountains aren’t made out of molehills. You are kinder and more compassionate.  You stop beating yourself over mistakes or temporary setbacks.

You remember that you are ultimately responsible for your own happiness.

And, when you find yourself in relationships and circumstances that set you back, you replenish your own well, request a change or even walk away because you know that love calls each of us to shine and help our beloveds do the same.

Self-love inspires you to feel more deserving of the good things.  There’s less sabotage.  And, more freedom to  go for it—to go after the heart’s desire with more motivation, gusto and focus than ever before because you believe in YOU.

To love yourself is the ultimate reminder that the Divine does not reside outside of you.  Rather it is in you

To be in self-love is to see you through the eyes of love especially those moments when the world or our ego tells you that you are undeserving.

Seeing though eyes of love…

Celebrate yourself every day.  This is not about perfection, but your willingness to notice the quotidian things you do that are done with care and love.  With self-Love, we express self-appreciation and compassion.  We celebrate our wins—big and small—because we are worth it to ourselves. 

Practice self-forgiveness.  Everyone does the best they can given the circumstances, skills, and choices one perceives having in that moment.  If you could have thought of something better to do… you would have done just that.

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! ~ Dr. Seuss.  The greatest act and most powerful of practicing self-love is accepting you exactly as you are.  This does not mean that you never heal, grow and learn.  What it does mean that all your quirks, imperfections and warts are ways of loving yourself.

 

Love,

Jacqueline

 

PS: If you are a woman in Greater L.A and want support in creating a self-love practice, join me at Shine Bright from the Inside Out on September 22nd.

Happiness Happens

Have you ever noticed how easily we feel happiness when we are around a puppy?

Research has also shown that owning a dog is good for your overall wellbeing—a dog never judges and is always there to listen.

A dog does not have requirements to give you love.  It simply does.  Who else becomes wildly excited to see you because you have been missed for the mere minute you left the room?

Each of my dogs (and sometimes cats… yes, it’s a bit of a zoo in here at times) greets me with soulful, loving eyes every time I look at them.  My dogs don’t care that I lost it 5 minutes ago, that I made multiple mistakes, or that I have put on a few extra pounds.

Their response to us is void of blame or needing approval.

Dogs are mirrors into our very soul.

Because dogs remind us, on a soul level, that which brings us to a state of utter happy-happy-joy-joy is loving ourselves wholeheartedly—no shoulda’s, coulda’s, woulda’s, or need for any approval or justification outside ourselves to feel happy.

Happiness: An inside job

 

Happiness is a state of being.  When we divert too far away from it, we will go through great effort to feel it again.

It feels good to feel happy. We feel light, carefree, and it feels so darn yummy to laugh!  Our endorphins and other feel-good hormones fire off and life feel so sweet in the happy-filled moments.

And, happiness many times is a shared event.  We are often in company of others having heart-felt connecting moments with them.   Even if life is not marching how we desire, when we experience happiness, it all feels good right there and then.

What we forget is that these moments open us to the state of happiness already inside ourselves.  We forget that it is always there waiting for us (just like my beloved dogs).  It’s not the person or the circumstance that provided our happy, it was us giving ourselves the permission to crack open and let it out.

When we practice happiness from the inside out, we open to knowing that we can access and tap into it at any time.  The key to this opening being Self-Love.

Self-Love being the practice of seeing ourselves through eyes of acceptance, compassion, and forgiveness.  We don’t judge ourselves for not knowing any better or making choices out of our ego’s need for approval or being liked.

We then derive happiness from accepting all our parts—the good, the bad, and the not so pretty.  From here, we also nurture integrity with ourselves—when what we say, do and even think, are in harmony despite what the ego mind demands.

“Happiness is when what you think,
what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” 

– Mahatma Gandhi

Our choices and actions are then based on love, not fear.  No worry about others accepting us or loving us more or less, because of who we are.

And, as a reminder happiness begets more happiness… love begets more love.  When we love and feel happy, we attract more of this from the world around us.

 

How to create more Happiness and Self-Love?

  1. Don’t believe everything you think.  Just because you think it, it doesn’t make it real.  The brain is the great creator and it will create stories that are not true.
  2. Forgive YOU.  You know that thing you did one time (or maybe a few times) that made you feel bad, embarrassed, or ashamed? It’s time to let that go for reals.  And, as a reminder, you did the best you knew how back then.  No Monday morning quarterbacking!  Everything is a learning experience.
  3. Release the need for approval.  Now this doesn’t mean you don’t consider the consequences of your behavior or choices have on others.  What it does mean is that you can be the sweetest, juiciest summer peach, and someone will just not like peaches.
  4. Let yourself feel it all.  It’s healthy and normal to feel unwanted and have negative feelings.  It’s all part of being human and all ways to practice acceptance and self-love.
  5. Reach out to family, friends, healers, therapists, coaches—whoever you need to help you through the tough times. You are not expected to go through them alone.  To ask for help is a huge act of love.
  6. Shake and move your miraculous body.  Moving our body helps the body relax, release toxins, and fire up the feel-good hormones.

Happiness happens.

Make sure it happens to you and that it happens often.

Love… and Happiness,

Jacqueline

 

PS:

Here’s how I usually start my daily pursuit of happiness.

Mornings with Lucy

Want to dive in deeper and get a little help making happiness happen?

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See ya there!