A circle of women may be the most powerful & illuminating force in the world.When women gather, their collective presence changes the world.
V-Day is here!
Love is in the air… may be…
I keep seeing posts and blogs about being “so over Valentine’s Day.”
Now I don’t necessarily buy into the fanfare, Hallmark cards, and candy. But, I am also reminded that as humans, we are programmed to connect, love and be loved.
So to ignore or minimize this very human need on a day that is focused on celebrating LOVE, is missing the opportunity to celebrate who we are on a core soul level.
In last week’s post, I wrote about Self-Love being the most important ingredient in any hot and sexy love affair. And, it’s true.
I truly believe and know that only when we are truly in alignment with our own beautiful spirit, can we completely and authentically give and receive real love.
If you aren’t sure where to start with Self-Love, my encouragement to read last week’s blog (click here).
Amidst lovers and loving, perhaps the greatest gift we can give ourselves is learning how to fully accept and love ourselves.
Today I extend two invitations….
One, to inquire on how you share your loving with others in a way that is meaningful to them and to you. Not based on what you might get back from being loving and a lover, but as a reflection of the depth of your self-loving.
Because when we love ourselves first, we can then give, serve, and love without expectations making our well of love suddenly bottomless.
Two, to practice inquiry on how you may be keeping yourself from experiencing and sharing the depth of your loving. The possibility that loneliness, sadness, resentment, grief, and upset are ways to keep yourself, safe in a way, from experiencing the freedom love has for you.
Because romantic love is only one flavor in the rich palette that is LOVE.
I know that for many this day can be quite painful, especially for those in grief or longing.
For me Valentine’s Day can and has been bittersweet.
As a child, my beloved dad would surprise my sister and I with Valentine’s gifts every year. It was always such a joy to find his tokens awaiting our arrival from school. His gesture of love never requiring a thank you.
For many years after he passed, my missing him kept me from celebrating love on this day. The turn-key happened when I recognized how my grief kept me restricted and constricted in an effort to avoid feeling pain again. Allowing myself to feel the sadness and the pain, and feel it all the way, set me free. Free to celebrate his legacy of love that still exists in me on this day and everyday.
If you’re longing for what has yet to arrive, can today be the beginning of releasing needless suffering giving way to nourishing yourself as an unselfish lover does?
And, if you are a partner in a relationship that may not feel so great, consider the invitation to love despite the imperfections of you and your partner without attachment to any particular outcome.
Now I haven’t forgotten about the required word for a great Valentine’s…. helping lovers love loving hot and sexy together.
Lovers loving love hot and sexy together happens when we are willing to engage in one big dirty F word….
Nothing kills romantic love and dims erotic spark like our fanning the flames of resentment, bitterness, and upset.
Forgiving the judgments towards your partner and self.
Forgiving God for actions that may be judged as cruel.
Forgiving past lovers for they were not part of the tapestry the Universe has woven for you.
Forgiving yourself for being human and imperfect.
Forgiving a body that changes.
Forgiving the judgement of feeling and wanting all that you do.
Forgiving, perhaps just enough, to allow yourself a different experience of yourself as a lover, acting from a place of full loving, having no attachment to getting anything back, or waiting for another to pay back an old debt.
Forgiveness sets your free to love and be loved.
Freedom to get LOVED up by LOVE…to reveal the truth about how you really LOVE.
Love cannot be owned, ended, or held captive.
LOVE is a Being, a presence, a reflection of the truest part of your Soul.
You, the essence of LOVE LOVING LOVE fully and purely.
💕 Happy Valentine’s Day… Happy LoveBeing Day 💕
Loving you today and everyday,
PS…Come play and discover different flavors of romantic love at next week’s Love, Intimacy & Attraction Event, info & reservation here. It’s gonna be good 💕.
“Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom”
– Francis Bacon
The New year is here!
One of the most powerful ways to move forward in creating your dreams and intentions for the new year is to focus on what you’ve learned, celebrate your wins, and forgive the past.
I find that when I do this, I feel more present, more grounded, more at ease, and most importantly, excited about what’s next.
And, how I begin this process is by finding the stillness, the moments of pause and silence.
When I was a child, I loved New Years. I loved the idea of starting over and that come January 1st, the past was wiped, fresh start.
The older I got, the more life experience under my belt, the more I felt the heaviness of what I did not accomplish, the goals left behind, and the relationships, including the one with myself, that did not feel any better.
In an effort to feel good, I followed what so many “experts” say to do – jump right into creating and manifesting on the goal line. The heaviness did not quite go away.
I found that when I moved past the stillness and straight into goal achievement I was skipping the most important lesson …. MY SOUL LEARNINGS, the reason why my soul had called in those precise let downs and wins.
“Learning how to be still, to really be still and let life happen – that stillness becomes radiance.”
~ Morgan Freeman.
Soul Learnings is the belief that everything that happens – the good, the bad, and the ugly – happens for my highest good.
We also cannot access our learnings though busyness, noise, and haste.
Seeking the stillness allows us to quiet the mind and stop judging, blaming, and avoiding. Instead, we get in touch with our inner counselor, the part of us that is wise, holds equanimity, and has a higher vision.
From this place we begin to recognize what we learned in the last year with gratitude and grace. We also get to celebrate the wins, something so many of us forget to do.
Forgiving others, not for their sake, but for our own sake. Because in doing so, we create and manifest from a space of compassion, abundance, not scarcity, fear, or angst.
When we practice forgiving ourselves, we remember we are worthy of creating what we truly desire based on authentic alignment not guilt, remorse, or obligation.
Most importantly of all, when we slow down, we give ourselves the chance to ask, “What do I want? What do I really really really want?” from a place of what feels good and what nourishes me and my relationships.
Where to find moments of silence….
- Taking a shower or a bath.
- In the car, arriving home, right before getting out. Or, after dropping off the kids before driving away.
- Morning coffee… sip it slowly.
- Before or after a yoga class.
- Park your car at the furthest point of a parking lot and walk slowly towards your destination.
- Close your eyes. Breathe slowly and deliberately.
- Rather than look at social media, read emails, or play a game, put on a song you love and let your body lead (you may want to put headphones on too).
- Read a book. The Alchemist being one I read every January.
And remember, that even the most beautiful rose bush is pruned and rested before it begins to radiantly flourish again. Below are a few offerings on the making this year the most flourishing and sizzling yet.
Wishing a magical and magnificent 2018,
So much talk about the season of merriment and light, yet for so many…
The paradox of the holidays.
It can be said that there is wisdom to be gained through challenge, hardship and suffering. It can also be said that there is deep learning and truth to be gained.
Because when we are in a “dark night of the soul”, the deepest part of our being reaches out for a more valuable connection with heart and spirit.
This, however, may not be immediately apparent to the ego self.
In the midst of pain, anger, grief, or sorrow, the ego self becomes attached to specific outcomes – “I will feel better when…,” and cannot see the possibility for learning and for a greater life on the other side.
This paradox is hard for the human self to grasp when feeling the heaviness of pain. Our most human response to suffering is to want to end it, and the human heart cannot help but believe that what it feels, the deprivation of joy, love, and, even hope, cannot possibly be the source of something good.
And yet, in the darkest hour of the night, there is a sharpening of vision, and what appears empty and dark, suddenly holds the promise of light.
In this sense, a dark night of the soul may first appear as if all the light has gone out, but the soul continues to support the seeking of light and continues to radiate and attract light toward the self that suffers and struggles.
After all, isn’t it true that when we feel disconnected from joy and love, we begin to seek that joy and love with a more willing and malleable heart? We begin to see the glimmers of light where moments before there were none to see.
Light attracts light even in the darkest hour.
This is the divine beauty of the soul.
From this perspective, the holidays – holy days – is the ideal and soulful time for our journey into the light… the surrender into the light of our own being.
A reminder that the holy days, regardless of religion, culture, language, country, or ethnicity, are an invitation to love freely – without the need for reciprocity or finding worthiness in another.
An invitation to practice love loving love – the practice of being present and loving for the sake of loving.
To love openly because we are all soulful beings and, in the eyes of the Divine, are all equal – no one better or worse, more spiritual or less. The only distinction that each of us arrived on earth with different soul curriculums.
The holidays are high holy days because they serve as reminders of the holy that resides in each of us.
A sacred summons to seek the Divine in another.
A reminder that all moments are for our highest purpose.
Wishing you the most beautiful holiday season.
May it be filled with bliss, compassion, peace, and a heart filled with love.
With all my love,
“Love is holy because it is like grace – the worthiness of its object never really matters.”
– Marilynn Robinson
So… much… going… on… right… now!
There are tsunami-size waves of social change occurring. We can’t go very long or very far without witnessing or being exposed to an injustice or human darkness.
I don’t know about you but there are moments when it all feels like there’s a huge wall separating us from where we are and where we want to be, what we imagine life can really be like.
We want to take it down, but we have no idea yet how to do it. Leading us to feeling overwhelmed and overly triggered, wanting to run, hide, enraged, frozen, or all of the above.
At least that’s what I tell myself…BREATHE. Because change is not easy and it is always the darkest before the light appears.
And, I am also reminding myself that no matter what is happening I have a choice in how to respond and how to be with myself, and how I can contribute to making this world a little brighter.
Each of us has a spot on that wall where we can choose to either help break it down or to put up another brick.
We each have our talents, our gifts, our work, our light. That’s our chisel in helping break down that wall.
We don’t have to do it all. The ego mind likes to think we do which usually results in us freezing.
We don’t have to hammer things down. Force and violence never work.
We don’t have to be anyone other than who we are.
We don’t have to do anyone else’s work. No need for over-responsibility or playing the rescuer. Both serve as distractions from our own work.
We can pick one thing, and give it our all.
And chisel away at that spot… over and over again.
By taking that one spot, that one space inside ourselves that feels triggered, that feels tender, that feels vulnerable. Not pretending we don’t feel or blaming for feeling. Being with that spot… loving it… being compassionate with it.
And then, when we are ready, practicing forgiving. Forgiving our judgement, our misunderstanding, our not knowing any better. Again and again because forgiveness is a practice, not an event.
Here’s the most wonderful thing of all…
… each of us are doing our work, chiseling way one spot, then collectively, eventually, together we will bring that wall down.
What we learn then is that every wall we encounter – both inner and outer – are post signs, reminders that more love and compassion are needed.
More love please.
Your tender spots matter.
Your gifts and your tools matter.
You are here for an important reason.
Because together, that wall comes down.
And together… WE RISE.
It was a calling. A deep heart calling to be part of the Women’s March LA. It was not about being anti-anyone. It was about listening to the whispers calling me to witness a rising.
I had never witnessed a morning like that. Hundreds of us at the train station. The train themselves, completely jammed packed. To say we were packed like sardines is an understatement. I could hardly move without touching someone else. Yet we laughed, we used each other to lean on, and some even sang songs.
Once on the streets of Downtown LA – HOLY Mother – there were thousands of us! Last estimates say there were 750,000 of us. I felt all sorts of emotions rise. Some joy, some love, some sadness, but most of all awe. There were so many of us that the roads closed for the march were not enough. Drivers were stuck in their cars. Many of them were swept with the joy of the moment as they got out and began cheering the marchers on. The signs people carried were brilliant. So many creatively stated many of my own thoughts. A sea of pink pussy hats on women had me smiling from ear to ear.
What was the most moving was seeing the number of men that marched along the women that morning. Some came with their partners. Some came on their own. Fathers brought their sons. Groups of men came together. My heart burst open when I heard the men chant, “Her body, her choice.” Even thinking about it now brings tears to my eyes.
I marched because to me nothing is more important than the freedom to choose.
The freedom to say what happens to my body, who touches my body, and how I take care of my body. I marched as a drop in a vast ocean of powerful women. As I often say – when women gather, we are a powerful force and our collective presence changes the world. I marched because this event marked the greatest awakening of the Divine Feminine energy. I marched alongside millions of women and men worldwide because I yearned to be there at the moment that this wider recognition of the Divine Feminine was being birthed.
The Divine Feminine is the matrix of creation. The truth is every woman knows it exists in every cell of her being even if she forgets from time to time. She gets to participate in the greatest mystery of bringing a soul into life. Even if a woman chooses not to birth a child, her body still contains and remains connected to the mystery of the Divine. And yet, we forgot and are okay being denied the sacredness of this.
We live in a culture that promotes disembodiment. In doing so, we live in our heads with our egos making up stories, with blindfolds that keep us from seeing the beauty of who we really are, and worst of all, we stop following Divine Intuition which stops us from acting from a place of Divine Love.
What we forget is that to bend to this patriarchal denial affects not only every woman, but also life itself. When we deny the mystery of the Divine Feminine, we also deny life at the core — the part that nourishes, creates, heals, transforms, and nourishes all of us. For the same sacred source from which we were all born comes the essence that gives meaning to our life and aligns our life’s divine purpose.
The Divine Feminine has been waiting.
On that beautiful Saturday morning, women and men gathered and heeded her calling. That day I walked with my sisters and brothers to honor the Divine Feminine in each of us even for those that do not hear her whispers yet or who continue to deny her existence.
With all my love,
PS… It also does not end at the march. I for one am done with complaining and I am choosing to be active instead. What are the topics and issues that are important to you? The Divine Feminine awaits our active participation in order to co-create with each of us a world that we truly desire.
I believe that we are all divine beings having a human experience.
I often imagine that before we made the choice to come to the earth school, we all surrounded a giant bond fire where God tells us about a special “life” planned for us. We are so happy to learn and grow and be human that we give a resounding “yes” to life in store for us. We crave the all the lessons. We go all in.
We all chose to come here and inhabit our human body. We chose all the funny curves, bumps, and dimples. We chose our families – our mother, father, grandparents, and even our crazy uncle, because before we took human form, we knew that our bodies and our loved ones were the perfect ones to teach our souls the very lessons that we craved to learn. As life progresses, we also attract others to help us learn lessons in a deeper level. Of course, the one relationship that provides us the best and deepest opportunities of learning and growing is our romantic relationships.
From my point of view, the problem is that part of the human condition is that we forget that we chose. We forget so that we can actually learn the lessons. We forget so that we can fully live each moment. We also develop an ego. We develop the ego to help us survive our human condition. Because as humans we crave attention and to feel loved. Our ego begins to believe that for us to be loved by others, we have to abide by certain conditions. Out of fear of losing this love, it begins to create stories and beliefs about how the world works and how we should be in it. I find that when a phrase such as “I am personally offended” is used it is our ego that is reacting.
The ego is not a bad aspect. It is the part of us that has forgotten its divine nature. It has forgotten about the excitement we felt at the bond fire. The ego is the aspect of us that is the most human. It feeds on fear, judging, wronging others and ourselves, and keeps most aligned with how things should be. I often see my ego as a young adolescent learning how to drive – unsure of herself, not sure how to deal with traffic, not knowing how turn, pressing the gas and break pedals too much or not enough. The driving instructor is my higher self, my divine nature – the aspect that remembers I am a soul. It gently reminds my fearful teenage driver how to focus and how to hold herself behind the driving wheel. Always with great love and compassion. From time to time, the driving instructor takes the wheel, moments of smooth driving, leaving the teenage driver afraid she did something wrong, but at times, although she may not always acknowledge aloud or even to herself, quite grateful.