Many have arrived to my office this week stunned and in disbelief over the events in Charlottesville. Some asking how to deal with the fear and anger. Others inquiring about the notion of love replacing hate.
One of the things I love about my practice is that I get to serve a multi-cultural, multi-religious, and multi-lingual population. Many of my couples are of mixed ethnicity and even mixed religions. Once during a women’s event, we looked around the room and experience such joy that in the circle were Christians, Catholics, Buddhist, and Muslim women of varying ages and cultures. One woman stated, “We can teach the UN a few things.”
There is a part of me that perhaps is a bit Pollyanna always looking for the good, the silver lining in everything: darkness always leads to light and after every storm there is always calm.
I admit that given the political climate of this country, it gets a little hard at times. Today, I sat with a knot in my stomach and tears in my eyes. Hate spewing out of so many. The silver lining becoming dimmer at times.
Hate is defined as the intense or passionate dislike for something or someone. Hate helps build the illusion of separation, of being different, of competition over false identities. This mixed with prejudices and judgements can be combustible.
Love on the other hand, is having affection, love, compassion for ourselves and for every other being. It opens us up to see the beauty in things and the good in others. It serves as a reminder that in God’s eyes, we are all the same. A homeless man is no better than the one living in a mansion.
Love can erase hate because if we practice love and being in our loving, we are aware of our prejudices and we are willing to be curious and inquire about them. We question the validity, where we learned it, how it serves us, and our willingness to change it.
I for one do not believe in being colorblind. In full transparency here… when someone tells me that they don’t see race, they don’t see color…. I gulp. It’s natural to see the difference in others. What is not natural is closing down our hearts because of what we assume to know because of another’s skin color, religion, culture, or ethnicity.
When we allow ourselves to be curious and inquire about our assumptions, we actually open our hearts a little more. And when we forgive ourselves and our assumptions, we elevate the whole planet.
The alternative is ignoring our assumptions to the point where we judge ourselves for having them. And given that life is a mirror into ourselves, we eventually see in others what we dislike in ourselves. We then use hate to fuel and give ourselves permission to blame those that remind us of what we do not want to see in ourselves.
So can love erase hate?
Yes… it can and it eventually will.
In the meantime, please remember that you are love, are loved, and you were made to love. Don’t shut down or don’t push away. Once you center yourself in this, take it to the streets. Go out and be in your loving with others.
Here I arrive at my silver lining which is remembering….
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
– Martin Luther King, Jr.
Be the light we all need to brighten our world a little more today🌟.
With all my love,