The Dirty Little F Word Required for a Great Valentine’s

V-Day is here!

Love is in the air… may be…

I keep seeing posts and blogs about being “so over Valentine’s Day.” 

Now I don’t necessarily buy into the fanfare, Hallmark cards, and candy.  But, I am also reminded that as humans, we are programmed to connect, love and be loved.

So to ignore or minimize this very human need on a day that is focused on celebrating LOVE, is missing the opportunity to celebrate who we are on a core soul level. 

In last week’s post, I wrote about Self-Love being the most important ingredient in any hot and sexy love affair.  And, it’s true.

I truly believe and know that only when we are truly in alignment with our own beautiful spirit, can we completely and authentically give and receive real love.

If you aren’t sure where to start with Self-Love, my encouragement to read last week’s blog (click here).

Amidst lovers and loving, perhaps the greatest gift we can give ourselves is learning how to fully accept and love ourselves.

Today I extend two invitations….

One, to inquire on how you share your loving with others in a way that is meaningful to them and to you.  Not based on what you might get back from being loving and a lover, but as a reflection of the depth of your self-loving.

Because when we love ourselves first, we can then give, serve, and love without expectations making our well of love suddenly bottomless.

Two, to practice inquiry on how you may be keeping yourself from experiencing and sharing the depth of your loving.  The possibility that loneliness, sadness, resentment, grief, and upset are ways to keep yourself, safe in a way, from experiencing the freedom love has for you.

Because romantic love is only one flavor in the rich palette that is LOVE.

I know that for many this day can be quite painful, especially for those in grief or longing.

For me Valentine’s Day can and has been bittersweet.

As a child, my beloved dad would surprise my sister and I with Valentine’s gifts every year.  It was always such a joy to find his tokens awaiting our arrival from school.  His gesture of love never requiring a thank you.

For many years after he passed,  my missing him kept me from celebrating love on this day.  The turn-key happened when I recognized how my grief kept me restricted and constricted in an effort to avoid feeling pain again.  Allowing myself to feel the sadness and the pain, and feel it all the way, set me free.  Free to celebrate his legacy of love that still exists in me on this day and everyday.

 If you’re longing for what has yet to arrive, can today be the beginning of releasing needless suffering giving way to nourishing yourself as an unselfish lover does?

And, if you are a partner in a relationship that may not feel so great, consider the invitation to love despite the imperfections of you and your partner without attachment to any particular outcome.

Now I haven’t forgotten about the required word for a great Valentine’s…. helping lovers love loving hot and sexy together.

Lovers loving love hot and sexy together happens when we are willing to engage in one big dirty F word….

FORGIVENESS

Nothing kills romantic love and dims erotic spark like our fanning the flames of resentment, bitterness, and upset.  

Forgiving the judgments towards your partner and self.

Forgiving God for actions that may be judged as cruel.

Forgiving past lovers for they were not part of the tapestry the Universe has woven for you.  

Forgiving yourself for being human and imperfect.

Forgiving a body that changes.

Forgiving the judgement of feeling and wanting all that you do.

Forgiving, perhaps just enough, to allow yourself a different experience of yourself as a lover, acting from a place of full loving, having no attachment to getting anything back, or waiting for another to pay back an old debt.

Forgiveness sets your free to love and be loved.

Freedom to get LOVED up by LOVE…to reveal the truth about how you really LOVE.

Love cannot be owned, ended, or held captive. 

LOVE is a Being, a presence, a reflection of the truest part of your Soul.

You, the essence of LOVE LOVING LOVE fully and purely.

💕 Happy Valentine’s Day… Happy LoveBeing Day 💕

Loving you today and everyday,

Jacqueline

 

PS…Come play and discover different flavors of romantic love at next week’s Love, Intimacy & Attraction Event, info & reservation here.  It’s gonna be good 💕.

The Most Essential Ingredient for Hot and Sexy Love

It’s February!  The month we celebrate love. 

But before we dive into how to have a sizzling and hot V-Day, let’s stop for a moment and talk about the most essential ingredient to hot and sexy anything…. (drumroll)…. SELF-LOVE.

By definition self-love is having regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.

In my work with individuals and couples as well as my own journey, the practice of self-love is not always easy.  Our small, ego mind in an effort to keep us safe, can go on endless loops of negative self-talk and sabotaging behavior. 

This leads us to seek validation and love from others, rather than ourselves, which almost always results in our feeling unsatisfied and unloved.

And, when we don’t practice self-love, it can often lead us to being needy and unloving which is a sure way of putting out any sexy fires.

For only when we are truly in alignment with our own beautiful spirit, can we completely and authentically give and receive real love.

Because when we love ourselves, we know that we can give without becoming resentful or depleted. 

We give love because we are full of love.  We are fully immersed in the deep flow of love and loving.

The practice of Self-Love

Slow Down and Be Mindful.  People who have more self-love tend to know themselves well. They take the time to slow down and consider what they feel, think and want.  They take others into consideration when making choices, but not solely on making others happy or sacrificing self.

Know the No’s. The greatest lesson in Tantra practices is knowing your no before saying yes to anything. You will love yourself more when you set limits and say no to things that do not align and genuinely serve you.  And, when you do say yes, it is a wholehearted agreement you will not regret later.

Taking Care of Business.  Practice good self-care. People who practice self-love nourish themselves daily through healthy activities, good nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions.

Kindness and Forgiveness.  We can be so hard on ourselves!  There really is no need to punish ourselves for mistakes that ultimately prove pathways to healing, learning and growing.  The greatest act of self-love is acceptance of your being imperfectly human.  We all do the best we can given our our choices in any given moment.  Hindsight is 20/20.  Stop judging from that view. 

Living with Intentional Desire.  You will accept and love yourself more when you live through intention and desire, purpose and really wanting.  You will make decisions that support this intention, and create steps towards heart-felt desires.  Your heart will burst for YOU when you see yourself accomplishing what you set out to do.

Amidst lovers and loving, perhaps the greatest gift we can give ourselves is learning how to fully accept and love ourselves.

The act of being our own hot and sexy lover… before we are this for someone else or invite a lover in.  

For now, go practice loving yourself BIG.  Next week we will talk about lovers loving love hot and sexy together.

xoxo,

Jacqueline