Don’t Be You 10/24/2016

You are not reading this wrong.  Don’t be you.

I remember being a little girl with my hair often a matted mess and frequently scabbed knees.  I was unstoppable.  I had scabs over scabs and I kept going.  Falling down and getting hurt did nothing to keep me from exploring.

I was Wonder Woman in the morning, Princess Leia at school (yes, I had my mother do my hair in those famous buns), one of Charlie’s Angels after school (“Kelly Garrett“ of course.  Jacqueline Smith’s character. We had the same real name after all), and somewhere before bedtime I was a doctor, President, a singer-dancer, and once in a while Batgirl.  There were so many flavors and textures to myself that every moment provided a new discovery and a new manner of expressing ME.

Then somewhere along the way, I lost it.

I lost my ability to try on new ME’s.  I lost the multi-faceted, multi-dimensional ME.  I forgot to test and experiment with my different parts.

I bought into the misunderstanding that I had to pick one flavor and stick to it.  In my innocence, I gave up the joy and gave into the “me” I thought would bring me love and acceptance from peers, school, family, and community.  I forgot the sheer joy of being all my parts instead of the safest one.  I turned off.  Pretty girls don’t have scabbed knees after all.

When one turns off, the ego, the small self, the whatever you want to call it, will do everything in its powers to keep you confined.  In its innocence, it convinces itself and you that your very survival on this planet depends on you staying constrained and fearful of testing new facets of you.

If you try, a 5-alarm fire goes off, you get tense, become anxious and depressed, and convince yourselves once more that you must remain turned off and give into fear.  This can be an endless cycle until the moment you remember multi-faceted, brilliant YOU.

Don’t be you. Be instead the variety of YOU.

Be the you that stops and smells the roses.  Be the you that shakes the bootie when a great song comes on or just because you want.  Be the you that is the dreamer willing to recognize boundless limits. Be the you that loves whole heartedly without asking for anything back.  Be the you that believes in pure imagination.  Be the you that is curious and willing to fail because staying still is even riskier.  Be the you that is playful and silly.  Be the you that lives a turned-on life choosing pleasure and bliss.

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Be the YOU that comes alive.
 
With all my love,  
          Jacqueline

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